Dollarpennypincher

From leex
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Think my insomnia's back. I fucking hate having to deal with this and waking up with muscle pain like I have for the past few weeks now. Doesn't help that I already feel very uncertain about the future and don't always know what direction I'm heading. I also still get really jealous checking up on what I people I knew from my high school days are doing now compared to what I've done and regret a few decisions I made in the past to this day.

It's all because even after all this time, I still have to deal with my inner insecurities, worrying too much about shit that doesn't matter in the long run, and how I'm such a self-deprecating person. It also terrified me when I overheard people at my college talk about how they knew this accounting major who did really well who ended up working as an Uber taxi driver and how the only way you can really get a job now is through getting internships before you graduate. Still want to make my career goals a reality and I feel more motivated than ever to keep going and see what happens but some days I really feel like saying "fuck it" and giving up, like there's this voice in my head telling me that it's not worth it and I'll never be as good as other people at what I want to do, etc.

So yeah, it's a combination of a bunch of stuff that's been gradually building up more and more overtime and wasn't sure if I should have even bothered to let any of it out here.